A Saturday

Super irritated with my ID today as he fly us kite again. Has give us quite valid reasons but subsequently, it just makes you feel that he is not sincere. But well, my hubby decided to be gracious about it until I keep nagging. My final decision is just to let him decide. My indecisive nature has irritate him enough today. Let's just hope tomorrow will be a good day. *pray hard*

Today we went furniture mall to seek for my dining table and didn't manage to find it. I still love the one that I saw at fullhouse. After that we went to bugis and had lunch n dessert. Next, we proceed to sunshine plaza to see models. Hubby love models of tanks. Lastly, we hang out at Pomo and bought all my exchange gifts!!!

There is Jessie gang, may gang and ex-sunny-bunny teachers gang. Yeah shopping done!!!! Ended with a pict of me and the gifts!!! Haha :)

A day spent @ mYm

Went to may's place to eat pancakes and guess what, there are little insects found in ready to make pre pancake mix!!! How gross and shocking is that?

We settle for cookies and oat and chat our way through while listening to "teng li jun" oldies. It is nice chatting while enjoying the sound of the crickets and the sight of "bukit-timah-hill" look-alike scenes.

Soon, Phyllis dropped by with noodles and koi to satisfy our tummies. Never tried koi before till today. Thanks babe for the thought although I did not finish it! :)

Went home after crapping session with the girls and before the rain comes. Is indeed a relaxing morning spent. Beautiful Friday!

Blogging from iphone

Did a birthday gift for jieying yesterday. She requested a drawing of her after seeing my painting at arteasetiq. I reluctantly agreed as I am not good at portraits. Watch my drawings and you will know why I am good at drawing cartoons and every picture "suffer" a risk from turning into a cartoon out of my hands. Think I can turn into an app called "Cartooniser".. Haha!!

This app of iPhone is not good at the photos. My pictures below have lost their sequence. Anyway the sequence is easily differentiated. So proceed to take a look below....

Conclusion: head is too big, face has too many wrinkles, eyes too round, my girl looks too young....

Back?

Yes I am!!!!! Wow...it has been long aagin...After I get married, my blog has been covered with questions of "Where the hell is Carole?"

And soon Ms Phyllis start to turn her head around only to realise that she is teh one left blogging...Jasmine still do but in tiny dose...For May, she is reviving her blog..Hee Hee!! Well, life has been interesting for me. I could say that I have learnt a lot through my marriage.

I have gone through the "Adapting" phase, more or less. My dream is my new house plus my new career.

Till then, I will stop now as I am dead tired downloading trial versions of DreamWeaver, PhotoShop and Freehand..And always searching for a nice skin....

Aloha!

Aloha!!!

I am back and am resting now. Life is occupied as when I am at Ang Mo Kio, i will need to attend my MIL needs and when I am at Hougang, I need to attend to my family needs so I am feeling very useful. And when time and money allows, I will practise my baking skills. Occasionally I will visit my friends at their place to build up bonding. This is Life la!!! My health is improving too from the hectic hours of childcare. I am now more patient and cheerful to my hubby too as I need not face the stress of work. Occasionally we still quarrel like nobody business. That is just Nick and Me. hahahah!! I have learnt to accept the fact that I need to accept his bad temper...

Waiting for my dental appointment and if everything is smooth, I may start working part time in September.

Life is good when is stressfree! Today hubby is on leave so we spend the day packing and sweeping the house, mostly done by him. AT evening, we went jogging and went hme for dinner. But perhaps the dinner make me hungry, at 10.35 I urge him to go McDonalds with me to eat nuggets. He reluctantly agree when I say I am fine with going myself. Yipee! I am a happy girl and we made our way to our supper place. We came back home with me, a satisfied wife with yummy food in my tumtum!!

So good to have a hubby around! hahahha!!! Hubby now sleeping and I am watching my taiwan serial....Till then...

Happy Tuesday!!! :)

Sad

I have never been so sad for a long time...The last time is about five years ago? I remembered the feeling of having tears rolling down the face even at the moments that you don't want it to flow. And now, I have these moments again...

Bambi has been detected with irregular heartbeats during one of her medical visits. The vet told my sister that her heartbeat stop a few times when he is hearing. Before the medical visit, Bambi has been to the groomer and has a few "quarrels" with the dogs outside. Maybe thatshe is too excited and traumatised and that resulted in her irregular heartbeat? But my sister (who is a nurse) went home and count her heartbeat and it is irregular too. The vet actually say her condition is very serious. Haiz. And my mum added it will stop anytime. I do hope she is exagerating. She will be doing her ECG next week at the vet to confirm her situation.

Bambi is now at Ang mo kio with me as my sister's house is going through a messy project of painting. When Bambi is with me, i can't help but to cry. I told nick that I am very upset about her situation. Now, i could understand his feeling when he found out his mum need a pacemaker. But what about dogs? Can dogs have pacemaker?
Nick console me and say "She is old already. At least she has all of you who love her so much and it is better that she is gone in her sleep then to suffer any pain."

I have always been crying in those doggy movies cause I know I can't face it when it is my turn. It is really so heartbreaking. Maybe after her, I don't want a dog anymore.

ITOUCH

22 Nov 2010

Hey all! Am blogging from my er Jie itouch. It has been some time since I blog. Am learning day by day any marriage life. Finally tasted bitter moments that cannot be easily solved. Finally tasted the feeling of "depressed and lost". Finally met someone that made me do housework. Finally know why ppl say u are not mature enough. Suddenly realise why I am feeling all these. It is beacuse I am not sheltered by my own family anymore. Because it is time to set up my own! Slap myself for not putting enough attention on COMMON GOALS. Has been asking myself what is my goal in life. Has always been focusing on my own career goals. But now i would like to add Nick in and change into OUR goals.

--------------------

23 Nov 2010

My sweet darling sms me "Happy 6 months anniversary" and I am glad he remembered it. For me, I actually remember the wrong date!! HAAHAHAH!!! LOve wise, we are still the same. Conflicts wise, getting worse because of MIL. I have decided to state out the Dos and Donts clearly. And I told my hubby that I wanted us to have common goals together so that we have something to look forward to. Else, is day by day...so meaningless!!! I hope we can work things out soon.

A trip to the dentist

Have been watching the wisdom tooth on my lower left side of my mouth getting darker and darker. Yes, it is decaying. It all started with food stuck within the teeth. It has been bothering me for quite some time. Since I am going to end my eldery centre job soon, I intend to extract it out. Although my last day is today, I went on three days MC.

On Wednesday, I step into Serangoon Q&M dental clinic. I am glad the people there are friendly and consoling. The dentist did a check up for me and told me that my upper wisdom tooth is also decaying and my two wisdom teeth on my right has signs of decaying. I have my x-ray taken and to find out that the decayed wisdom tooth on my left is crooked so i need a minor surgery. So i have 2 decayed wisdom teeth on my left and 2 going-to-decay wisdom teeth on my right. I sum up all my courage and decided to extract my two DECAYED wisdom teeth on my left. I have several jabs of MA ZUI YAO first. I did not know that I am nervous until the doctor and nurse kept calling me not to tremble! My mouth is shaking and the dentist has a hard time jabbing it!! HHahahah!!! I need 1 nurse to open my mouth and another to console me!!!

To prevent my mouth closing, the dentist put a gadget for me to bite on to keep my mouth open. When my mouth become numb, the extraction start. The upper one is easy. Fast and smooth, it is out. The dentist stopped my bleeding first. He is very nice to go through every step with me and reassuring me from time to time. Now, the lower wisdom tooth. Oh my, is hell of battle to think back now. The dentist first try to pluck it out from my gum. I can sense the huge strength the dentist tried to pull it out. Next, he took a drill and try to drill my tooth into three pieces before taking it out. The nurse who assist him seems to be a newbie. At times, she turned nervous and shoot the salt water at my lips. Although so, their service is good as they kept applying Vaseline on my lips from time to time as my mouth turned dry. The nurse also kept sucking the blood out from my mouth with her machine. At times when i can sense the pain from drilling, the dentist will inject more MA ZUI YAO to my gum before continuing to drill. I could not sense the pain but I can see the great struggle 3 people is having to take my wisdom tooth out. One nurse is busy securing my head, one nurse is busy sucking out my blood with her tool and the dentist is so busy drilling and plucking out my tooth. After a struggle of 1 hour and breaking my wisdom tooth into 4 parts (initially three), my tooth is out. Although I have the gadget to keep my mouth open but my jaws still feel very tired from all these pulling. The dentist stopped my bleeding and show me my decayed tooth. EEWWWkks...bloody and disgusting.

Next,i took another x-ray to make sure my tooth is really out. Then, he sew up my wound. Wow. Is really so tiring for me as I am so nervous and scared throughout. I could say that their service is great as the dentist is patient and the nurses are nice. I would have freak out more if it wasn't them!

Back at my hougang home, I kept biting on to the gauze and it took me a few hours to stop tasting my blood. Eating is misery as it is very painful after the medicine wears off. I obey the dentist's instructions and ate all the antibiotics that he gave me. I decided to stay at my hougang home till I am better and my darling hubby took half day leave to visit me yesterday. He bought me chicken essence and soft bean curd to eat too. My mother-in-law also called up to ask about my condition and told me not to fall asleep a few hours after my extraction.

After this experience, I will go back to mend my two other wisdom teeth on the right (luckily, is not extract!!!) and I will take good care of my teeth!! And I am so damn happy that I have ended my job at the eldery centre. My colleagues are the worst I ever faced. This job is really the worst job I have ever done,mainly dealing with the different monster colleagues I faced. Now I know that being childish can create the worst colleague ever especially when you are in a VWO!

Will be back to my comfort zone. Till then, I will move slowly. Mind my health first before minding others.

New Skin!

Wow...took a long time for me to search for a CHIO skin till I find this. Not sure if it is too colourful for your liking but I do like the liveliness of it. So bubbly colourful.

Today I am on leave as I went on a medical checkup which my new employer wanted. Went for blood, urine test, chest X-ray and general checkup at SATAS. Packaage is about 48 bucks. Actually what physical checkup test should I go to check if I am physically ok to get pregnat?

Am going to take out my tooth which is decaying. I know it sounds yuckie. I don't even dare to think how painful it will be else I would not dare to go and extract it out. But seeing the black space at the back of my mouth is bothering me.

Am going on my new job soon on 1st Sep. Back to be Teacher Carole. This time with the K1 and K2. Am glad to go back to my comfort zone. How I wish my new house would faster come so that I can have freedom and space of my own...

Oh my Sapphire....I wish you are here soon!!!!!!!!!!!

Ever Changing

Life is really undergoing so much change for me. Sometimes, I wonder if I can handle it. But I know that I cannot doubt myself. A friend suggested that I should retreat back to my comfort zone if I am too stressed. A few moments of peace can create new ideas to the mind.

I have been dealing with new environment, new lifestyle, new people to live with TOGETHER WITH absolute high level of unbearable nonsense at my workplace. A new colleague of mine who is very young has been behaving very badly and causing emotional stress for me as she will get angry with anyone (including me) when don' agree with her. And another colleague of mine absolutely treats me better when I throw the "I QUIT" card to my boss. This lead me thinking that I am posing as a threat to her. Both of them have been my hinder all along to excel in this line. Giving up on human service and going back to early childhood is my way to think if I really want to work with special needs. But I wonder if I should give up so fast in human service. When I am working in this company, is the first time in my whole life i feel like Screaming to these colleagues. Horrible. The most childish people I met in life. But my boss did warned me not to be affected by people around me as I might meet worse people out there. Noticed that I always leave a job because of the people and unpleasant things I meet.

Is this my problem?

Am I too emotionally weak?

But I love being loved by people. When I met people who are not genuie or produce too much negative energy, I will tolerate. After much toleration, I shut them off from my life. I am not a person that will say out my unhappiness. I noticed that by doing this, I am being misunderstood that I don't mind and don't care. Will i feel better if i voiced out my displease? When I have too many displease beared in my heart, I felt horrible. Perhaps it's time I be more assertive and voice out my dislikes to people. But I dislike confrontation as it will makes me angry. And when I am angry, I feel unwell. So I don't like to get angry.

Don't force me to make a decision. DOn't force me to do things I am not ready yet. I am still in the stage of adjusting. I am lost. Lost because suddenly I have changes, expectations and unhappiness all coming in one direction. Give me time. What will come will come.

I need to learn. To meditate, to find calm in chaotic situations, to take a deep breathe and to always tell myself

"It's okay to move slowly as long as you don't stop"

My Weekend

Have a meaningful weekend this sunday!!

Nick and me brought my MIL to shop for swimming costume as my mummy date her for a swim. We went to several shops in Ang Mo Kio before we find a suitable one for her. Halfway through the trip, we crave for ice cream and we went to buy ice cream. MIL like to eat fries so we sat in Mos Burger for its so called "Hokkaido ice cream" and MIL enjoyed a large packet of french fries. She really love to eat it!! After that, my mummy called and ask me to bring Nick and MIL over to hougang home.

We brought some honey mangoes up and Bambi is so happy to see all of us. My mother was so busy in the kitchen cooking dinner for them. AFter dinner, mummy served oolong tea and er jie offered us to eat cakes. After all these, we ate the honey mangoes that we bought. I nudged mummy to stop buzzing around in kitchen and sit down to talk to my MIL. They sit down and talk and watched the drama "LOVE" together. Although my mummy is not a big fan of the show, but she patiently sit down and watched it with my MIL. Meanwhile, Nick and me went tomy platform balcony and watched Mr Bean. It is a relaxing trip at home and i enjoyed the part that I can spent time with both mummies!!

I am real glad that Nick's mummy is so easy going and my mummy is so friendly to communicate with her. I hope our swimming date next will be better!! :)

AFter Marriage

My work has been very lagged recently. Things are getting better for married life. I have been getting used to living in hubby's place, to my MIL's cooking, to their lifestyles. I am also starting to get sticky to my hubby.... Oh my.....I think he is getting indepensible ...Oh my...i love my hubby...

Offically Mrs Thia

Yoo Hoo!!! Mrs Thia is back!!!

I have already change my set of plans, life plans and I'm closer to my goal to career (provided I will not get pregnat soon).I thought, I really thought my route to being a therapisy would be LONGER until I met up with my art therapist lecturer the other day!!!! I have been wanting to be an art therapist but he told me that this line would not survive in Singapore as art therapist is not much recognised. He introduced me to special needs instead and told me that it is in huge demand in Singapore now. Before I would even decide what kind of therapist I want to be, he suggest I get to know the different areas of special needs first and from there, I would know I would prefer to work with what type of children. He also told me that the course to study is cheaper than my master in counselling and I can be a certified therapist using the same amount. To Nick, this is a piece of good news as he is sponsoring my studies.

The lecturer suggested that I attend a meeting by a group of board certified therapist next Saturday at 10am, level 7 of National Library. There, i would be able to meet up with them while they discuss their cases and talk about the happiness and unhappiness of being a therapist. Is basically a gathering of the therapist. I am looking forward to attend the meeting. :)

At the age of 30, I am glad that I am happily married to a husband who loves me. My dear hubby prepared breakfast for me every morning. We do have our first few quarrels already and it is due to power struggle. I am learning, learning to see things in a broader prospect. It is indeed a dillema and a struggle sometimes. In short, I just don't know if I should put "Protect Myself" in priority OR "ME + YOU = US" in priority. Maybe I should combine both? Perhaps I should put plenty of love on him and increase his sense of security to solve ALL the problems that I am having now.

I am married. Offically Mrs Thia.

Entering another phase of life.

How is my wedding? Oh, I am god damn tired!! Half way before the lunch banquet veen starts, I hope it is ending!! I am so tired till I have no mood to entertain my guests. Seriously when the banquet lunch delay to start because of nick's da sao's siblings late arrival, it fumes me up.Cause I am so tired already. And the morning plan was messy as my dear jie meis and helpers try their best to help me. To me, I think I have the most special and spectacular wedding. Because everything is planned by my friends. The video caught me in surprise and I am overwhelm by my friends' effort to make my day special. Who can have this kind of wedding???? When my friends put in their ALL to make my day a special one. Each and every one. And kind MayMay decorate my whole ballroom into a pretty heaven. I did not pay attention to the details till i looked at the wedding pictures after my wedding. I am too tensed up during my wedding as i am nervous and i freak out at EVERY cock-up-matter.It makes my face charcoal-black at each hiccup. I am so glad that everything is over!!!

Enjoy my honeymoon to bits!!! Lots of photos but some error here and there so haven't got time to upload.

How am I now? I am pampered by my husband everyday. I think he know that I am trying hard to fit into his Ang Mo Kio home so he treat me very gentle. Yesterday when i went home, i auto keep the clothes and continue to hand wash some of the tour clothes. I did not want him to be too tired. Yesterday he even called and remind me to go back his home and not my home. He always serve me and i am scared that my MIL will not be happy seeing it. I can feel he dote on me a lot. :) Seriously speaking, I am not used to his home yet but I am trying hard to do things their way so as to reduce conflicts. And i did not talk much with my MIL too. It is afterall less than a week staying there.

When I am at work, I have my own personal space and i need that. Personal space is also very important. Currently, I will still continue my active lifestyle of going out, I wanna let my MIL know that I am this pattern one lo. I am not going to be a caged bird. I still need freedom.

Just that now, I have another bird by my side....always...heheheheh

Oh my Oh my... Is the unlucky month of April...

First, my second sister suffered from a slip disc one day when she is coughing. Went for an operation last two weeks ago and was awarded in Tan Tock Seng Hospital. Back a few days ago and now resting at home. Still having difficulties walking and bending down still and sometimes still in great pain...Mum is down with throat infection during her stay and is better now..

Secondly,my nephew hurt his hip yesterday and was complaning about his sore hip. He was limping yesterday and is queuing up with my mum now for X-ray.

Thirdly, received a call from Liusi yesterday that her daughter is being hospitalised at TMC due to fever and lots of phelgm in her lungs. She need to stay for 4 to 5 days to recover completely.

Lastly, I have been having numbness in my right hand and fingers like a bit numb too. This morning, i realise my right hand is swelling a bit. My forefinger is feeling a bit sore too. Try to exercise it and is better now. I think the swelling subsides a bit now.....

I hope by May, everyone will be fine and healthy!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

Finally...

After 2 months of trying...most importantly, trying to find the connection between the passion to work with eldery...I realise I do not have the calling for it. Everytime i came to work, the feeling is really like a zombie. Although my colleague says that the eldery like me and i can chat with them,but the feeling is different. I can get along with anybody, I can talk and chat, but I still feel my passion with children. I miss my children.

In any new jobs that i am going to seek now, before leaving this place,it is going to be children-related. I have my try and I know my preferences.

To hang out everyday in a place full of eldery is really not suitable for everyone. Some have the calling for them, others have the calling for children, I bet I am the one.

One more sidenote...Am considering this offer by my friend. She is a very mature and trustworthy friend of mine. She intended to open a cafe and asked me to parthnership with her. Without cash, is just employee first. Her ideas are good and she cooks well and she is capable.

I am at my cross road now...

Should i just continue on my path...or criss cross with hers?

Wondering.....

Work work work...

This job is not as easy as it looks...it involves lot of maturity...as i need to handle conflicts between colleagues and "clients" which are my naughty AUNTIES. In the past, my clients are children. My role is to mould them into responsible, smart and good-natured children with a sense of morality. They are innocent and do not have a mind of their own. It is easier to rule and manage them in these terms. The only difficulty is their playfulness and ignorance. But, they are a bundle of joy. Okay, I am refering to children who are below 3 years old.

Now, I am handling people who are more senior with me.

"I eat salt more than you eat rice!"
This is one common statement to describe their life experiences.

Nevertheless, some lived with people around disliking them but they are not aware of it, or they do not want to admit. They do not know why as they have poor self-reflective skills or they are too stubborn. Some people may be very sensitive to what others say and are not ready to receive comments outright.

I think that I am someone who is emerged in a world full of decent people. My friends, family and loved ones are geuine people. They are full of love. They are, as you say, simple to handle. The reason being that they have a satisfactory level of self confidence.

I am now in sector of human service. To service the human. In another words, to help the weaker ones. Although I may not be as strong as i thought, but my bad encounters (including quarrel with auntie and confrontation by colleague) lead me to conclude that I will be surrounded by people who need help. And they may be sensitive, unreasonable, stubborn, emotional and more. All these reflects an existance of insecurity in them. Instead of opposing them, i should give them more empathy and be able to accept them.

I will try my best not to be defeated by bad experiences and complaints. Being in my "MUST BE" world is making things very difficult for me. Although I am not being appreciated by people, i should take it with just a pinch of salt.

Yo... I am back....Updating abt my life...

Work Wise...I am in the process of getting use to my eldery centre. I get to exercise very frequently now, cause I am learning how to lead the morning exercise for the eldery. Despite it is an exercise with little actions but it did whip out your energy!! Imagine doing exercise and counting the beat out to them..wow!!! It really test your stamina. Today is the third time i lead them and I am getting the hang of it. I am panting lesser. And every two days of a week, there is a line dance session. This makes you sweat as well. Phew~~ Lots of exercise recentlY!!! This is what i call "Healthy Lifestyle""!

Colleagues are friendly and helpful. Managing the eldery can be the external factor that cause a lot of pressure to us. To be nice and not to be taken for granted seems to be a tough job. Residents abuse their rights is common too. Soon-to-be-expiry CNY goodies are given to us by smiling and friendly residents. But isn't CNY over? Well, they would rather us discard it for them i bet. With more than 1 residents doing that, our office is soon full of CNY goodies, and a lot of cockroaches and lizards.

Wedding planning wise...I have a lot to do. last minute work you called it? Well,i will just learn to take things one at a time.
- Print invitation cards
- View Layout of photos (tommorrow)
- Book honeymoon trip
- Choose gown (April)
- Select wine (soon to begin planning)
- Food tasting (April)
- Trial Makeup
- Confirm schedule with photographer
- Guo da Li (1st May)
- Choose pictures for montage
- Choose music

The more i type, the more BUSY i feel. Okay, gonna stop now and get back to work. :)

Good News: I found a job.

Is at hougang ave 3 and it is very near my place. Jobscope is to plan and run activities for the seniors. Post name is Programme Staff. Pay is less than 1600. I am actually confused whether wanted to take it up as the money is too little. But my bank is secretly yelling "help!!" When i asked Nick, he prefers to let me decide instead. He did say i can find a better job but there is an invisible pressure for me too.

His company is retrenching people and he has to work extra hard to show that he is worth to keep. His benefits are affected and this is a great sign of danger. Therefore, i decided to accept this offer and learn what i should learn first. At least for now, i can save up for my own studies.

Bad News: No more honeymoon - at least for now

Darling and his mum has some miscommunication when deciding where to meet when he took her to the hospital for check-up. Mum went to a totally wrong location. Darling panicked and ran all over to look for her. Found her and decided that he will not go overseas anymore as he need to take care of his mum. Unless i can go honeymoon straight after our marriage but that is not the case anymore as i am working and i am on three months probation.

Well,that is life.

Oh my my...Finally get the busy feeling of getting married. Am still in search for a solemiser. Even tikam tikam also needs time. :) We are also deciding on the place to go for our Honeymoon. Initially we wanted New Zealand or Australia but to my disappointment, it is winter. Even if i have more fats on me than before, i still doubt if i can tolerate the chill. So on the safe side, we decided on Hokkaido. Although it is Nick's third time to Japan, he is still delighted to go back there. He loves Japan!! (and maybe the hot chicks there??? Haahhha!!) Oh Well, so we have circle some good tour packages from the brochures that Bee passed me from Natas Fair.
With that, honeymoon location settled. We still need to call and arrange.

Back to my job search,is still JOB SEARCH. Not much of employers responsed despite my enthusiathic sending of resumes. I have further amend my resume to be more Impressive and Passionate. I could see that everyday, someone from the non-profit organisation is leaving their job. All sorts of positions. That led me to wonder if there is a "blow wind blow" situation internally. If there is,my chances of getting a social service job will be slimmer as I am not as experienced.I am a greehorn. I did received calls that asked if i want to be a teacher. Initially, i rejected. Now, i don't mind. Being jobless for months will not stressed me in the past. But it did now. This invisible stress is putting worries and pressure on me. Despite that, i cannot give up my goal!! I must strive on!!

Down to my guest list now. Am starting to send messages to friends, asking if they are able to attend. Some are just gone with the wind, while some enthusiatically called and am surprised that i am getting married.

So what did i do during my afternoonS. Now, i am getting back to drawing and doing some art work. I did upload some of my cartoons on facebook. I will continue to draw more when i am free. Am also doing up the sticky big album that May gave me on one christmas. Am planning to transform it into an album that show my guests my happy moments with my hubby.

- Being patient always paids off well-