A trip to the dentist

Have been watching the wisdom tooth on my lower left side of my mouth getting darker and darker. Yes, it is decaying. It all started with food stuck within the teeth. It has been bothering me for quite some time. Since I am going to end my eldery centre job soon, I intend to extract it out. Although my last day is today, I went on three days MC.

On Wednesday, I step into Serangoon Q&M dental clinic. I am glad the people there are friendly and consoling. The dentist did a check up for me and told me that my upper wisdom tooth is also decaying and my two wisdom teeth on my right has signs of decaying. I have my x-ray taken and to find out that the decayed wisdom tooth on my left is crooked so i need a minor surgery. So i have 2 decayed wisdom teeth on my left and 2 going-to-decay wisdom teeth on my right. I sum up all my courage and decided to extract my two DECAYED wisdom teeth on my left. I have several jabs of MA ZUI YAO first. I did not know that I am nervous until the doctor and nurse kept calling me not to tremble! My mouth is shaking and the dentist has a hard time jabbing it!! HHahahah!!! I need 1 nurse to open my mouth and another to console me!!!

To prevent my mouth closing, the dentist put a gadget for me to bite on to keep my mouth open. When my mouth become numb, the extraction start. The upper one is easy. Fast and smooth, it is out. The dentist stopped my bleeding first. He is very nice to go through every step with me and reassuring me from time to time. Now, the lower wisdom tooth. Oh my, is hell of battle to think back now. The dentist first try to pluck it out from my gum. I can sense the huge strength the dentist tried to pull it out. Next, he took a drill and try to drill my tooth into three pieces before taking it out. The nurse who assist him seems to be a newbie. At times, she turned nervous and shoot the salt water at my lips. Although so, their service is good as they kept applying Vaseline on my lips from time to time as my mouth turned dry. The nurse also kept sucking the blood out from my mouth with her machine. At times when i can sense the pain from drilling, the dentist will inject more MA ZUI YAO to my gum before continuing to drill. I could not sense the pain but I can see the great struggle 3 people is having to take my wisdom tooth out. One nurse is busy securing my head, one nurse is busy sucking out my blood with her tool and the dentist is so busy drilling and plucking out my tooth. After a struggle of 1 hour and breaking my wisdom tooth into 4 parts (initially three), my tooth is out. Although I have the gadget to keep my mouth open but my jaws still feel very tired from all these pulling. The dentist stopped my bleeding and show me my decayed tooth. EEWWWkks...bloody and disgusting.

Next,i took another x-ray to make sure my tooth is really out. Then, he sew up my wound. Wow. Is really so tiring for me as I am so nervous and scared throughout. I could say that their service is great as the dentist is patient and the nurses are nice. I would have freak out more if it wasn't them!

Back at my hougang home, I kept biting on to the gauze and it took me a few hours to stop tasting my blood. Eating is misery as it is very painful after the medicine wears off. I obey the dentist's instructions and ate all the antibiotics that he gave me. I decided to stay at my hougang home till I am better and my darling hubby took half day leave to visit me yesterday. He bought me chicken essence and soft bean curd to eat too. My mother-in-law also called up to ask about my condition and told me not to fall asleep a few hours after my extraction.

After this experience, I will go back to mend my two other wisdom teeth on the right (luckily, is not extract!!!) and I will take good care of my teeth!! And I am so damn happy that I have ended my job at the eldery centre. My colleagues are the worst I ever faced. This job is really the worst job I have ever done,mainly dealing with the different monster colleagues I faced. Now I know that being childish can create the worst colleague ever especially when you are in a VWO!

Will be back to my comfort zone. Till then, I will move slowly. Mind my health first before minding others.

New Skin!

Wow...took a long time for me to search for a CHIO skin till I find this. Not sure if it is too colourful for your liking but I do like the liveliness of it. So bubbly colourful.

Today I am on leave as I went on a medical checkup which my new employer wanted. Went for blood, urine test, chest X-ray and general checkup at SATAS. Packaage is about 48 bucks. Actually what physical checkup test should I go to check if I am physically ok to get pregnat?

Am going to take out my tooth which is decaying. I know it sounds yuckie. I don't even dare to think how painful it will be else I would not dare to go and extract it out. But seeing the black space at the back of my mouth is bothering me.

Am going on my new job soon on 1st Sep. Back to be Teacher Carole. This time with the K1 and K2. Am glad to go back to my comfort zone. How I wish my new house would faster come so that I can have freedom and space of my own...

Oh my Sapphire....I wish you are here soon!!!!!!!!!!!

Ever Changing

Life is really undergoing so much change for me. Sometimes, I wonder if I can handle it. But I know that I cannot doubt myself. A friend suggested that I should retreat back to my comfort zone if I am too stressed. A few moments of peace can create new ideas to the mind.

I have been dealing with new environment, new lifestyle, new people to live with TOGETHER WITH absolute high level of unbearable nonsense at my workplace. A new colleague of mine who is very young has been behaving very badly and causing emotional stress for me as she will get angry with anyone (including me) when don' agree with her. And another colleague of mine absolutely treats me better when I throw the "I QUIT" card to my boss. This lead me thinking that I am posing as a threat to her. Both of them have been my hinder all along to excel in this line. Giving up on human service and going back to early childhood is my way to think if I really want to work with special needs. But I wonder if I should give up so fast in human service. When I am working in this company, is the first time in my whole life i feel like Screaming to these colleagues. Horrible. The most childish people I met in life. But my boss did warned me not to be affected by people around me as I might meet worse people out there. Noticed that I always leave a job because of the people and unpleasant things I meet.

Is this my problem?

Am I too emotionally weak?

But I love being loved by people. When I met people who are not genuie or produce too much negative energy, I will tolerate. After much toleration, I shut them off from my life. I am not a person that will say out my unhappiness. I noticed that by doing this, I am being misunderstood that I don't mind and don't care. Will i feel better if i voiced out my displease? When I have too many displease beared in my heart, I felt horrible. Perhaps it's time I be more assertive and voice out my dislikes to people. But I dislike confrontation as it will makes me angry. And when I am angry, I feel unwell. So I don't like to get angry.

Don't force me to make a decision. DOn't force me to do things I am not ready yet. I am still in the stage of adjusting. I am lost. Lost because suddenly I have changes, expectations and unhappiness all coming in one direction. Give me time. What will come will come.

I need to learn. To meditate, to find calm in chaotic situations, to take a deep breathe and to always tell myself

"It's okay to move slowly as long as you don't stop"

My Weekend

Have a meaningful weekend this sunday!!

Nick and me brought my MIL to shop for swimming costume as my mummy date her for a swim. We went to several shops in Ang Mo Kio before we find a suitable one for her. Halfway through the trip, we crave for ice cream and we went to buy ice cream. MIL like to eat fries so we sat in Mos Burger for its so called "Hokkaido ice cream" and MIL enjoyed a large packet of french fries. She really love to eat it!! After that, my mummy called and ask me to bring Nick and MIL over to hougang home.

We brought some honey mangoes up and Bambi is so happy to see all of us. My mother was so busy in the kitchen cooking dinner for them. AFter dinner, mummy served oolong tea and er jie offered us to eat cakes. After all these, we ate the honey mangoes that we bought. I nudged mummy to stop buzzing around in kitchen and sit down to talk to my MIL. They sit down and talk and watched the drama "LOVE" together. Although my mummy is not a big fan of the show, but she patiently sit down and watched it with my MIL. Meanwhile, Nick and me went tomy platform balcony and watched Mr Bean. It is a relaxing trip at home and i enjoyed the part that I can spent time with both mummies!!

I am real glad that Nick's mummy is so easy going and my mummy is so friendly to communicate with her. I hope our swimming date next will be better!! :)

AFter Marriage

My work has been very lagged recently. Things are getting better for married life. I have been getting used to living in hubby's place, to my MIL's cooking, to their lifestyles. I am also starting to get sticky to my hubby.... Oh my.....I think he is getting indepensible ...Oh my...i love my hubby...

Offically Mrs Thia

Yoo Hoo!!! Mrs Thia is back!!!

I have already change my set of plans, life plans and I'm closer to my goal to career (provided I will not get pregnat soon).I thought, I really thought my route to being a therapisy would be LONGER until I met up with my art therapist lecturer the other day!!!! I have been wanting to be an art therapist but he told me that this line would not survive in Singapore as art therapist is not much recognised. He introduced me to special needs instead and told me that it is in huge demand in Singapore now. Before I would even decide what kind of therapist I want to be, he suggest I get to know the different areas of special needs first and from there, I would know I would prefer to work with what type of children. He also told me that the course to study is cheaper than my master in counselling and I can be a certified therapist using the same amount. To Nick, this is a piece of good news as he is sponsoring my studies.

The lecturer suggested that I attend a meeting by a group of board certified therapist next Saturday at 10am, level 7 of National Library. There, i would be able to meet up with them while they discuss their cases and talk about the happiness and unhappiness of being a therapist. Is basically a gathering of the therapist. I am looking forward to attend the meeting. :)

At the age of 30, I am glad that I am happily married to a husband who loves me. My dear hubby prepared breakfast for me every morning. We do have our first few quarrels already and it is due to power struggle. I am learning, learning to see things in a broader prospect. It is indeed a dillema and a struggle sometimes. In short, I just don't know if I should put "Protect Myself" in priority OR "ME + YOU = US" in priority. Maybe I should combine both? Perhaps I should put plenty of love on him and increase his sense of security to solve ALL the problems that I am having now.

I am married. Offically Mrs Thia.

Entering another phase of life.

How is my wedding? Oh, I am god damn tired!! Half way before the lunch banquet veen starts, I hope it is ending!! I am so tired till I have no mood to entertain my guests. Seriously when the banquet lunch delay to start because of nick's da sao's siblings late arrival, it fumes me up.Cause I am so tired already. And the morning plan was messy as my dear jie meis and helpers try their best to help me. To me, I think I have the most special and spectacular wedding. Because everything is planned by my friends. The video caught me in surprise and I am overwhelm by my friends' effort to make my day special. Who can have this kind of wedding???? When my friends put in their ALL to make my day a special one. Each and every one. And kind MayMay decorate my whole ballroom into a pretty heaven. I did not pay attention to the details till i looked at the wedding pictures after my wedding. I am too tensed up during my wedding as i am nervous and i freak out at EVERY cock-up-matter.It makes my face charcoal-black at each hiccup. I am so glad that everything is over!!!

Enjoy my honeymoon to bits!!! Lots of photos but some error here and there so haven't got time to upload.

How am I now? I am pampered by my husband everyday. I think he know that I am trying hard to fit into his Ang Mo Kio home so he treat me very gentle. Yesterday when i went home, i auto keep the clothes and continue to hand wash some of the tour clothes. I did not want him to be too tired. Yesterday he even called and remind me to go back his home and not my home. He always serve me and i am scared that my MIL will not be happy seeing it. I can feel he dote on me a lot. :) Seriously speaking, I am not used to his home yet but I am trying hard to do things their way so as to reduce conflicts. And i did not talk much with my MIL too. It is afterall less than a week staying there.

When I am at work, I have my own personal space and i need that. Personal space is also very important. Currently, I will still continue my active lifestyle of going out, I wanna let my MIL know that I am this pattern one lo. I am not going to be a caged bird. I still need freedom.

Just that now, I have another bird by my side....always...heheheheh

Oh my Oh my... Is the unlucky month of April...

First, my second sister suffered from a slip disc one day when she is coughing. Went for an operation last two weeks ago and was awarded in Tan Tock Seng Hospital. Back a few days ago and now resting at home. Still having difficulties walking and bending down still and sometimes still in great pain...Mum is down with throat infection during her stay and is better now..

Secondly,my nephew hurt his hip yesterday and was complaning about his sore hip. He was limping yesterday and is queuing up with my mum now for X-ray.

Thirdly, received a call from Liusi yesterday that her daughter is being hospitalised at TMC due to fever and lots of phelgm in her lungs. She need to stay for 4 to 5 days to recover completely.

Lastly, I have been having numbness in my right hand and fingers like a bit numb too. This morning, i realise my right hand is swelling a bit. My forefinger is feeling a bit sore too. Try to exercise it and is better now. I think the swelling subsides a bit now.....

I hope by May, everyone will be fine and healthy!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

Finally...

After 2 months of trying...most importantly, trying to find the connection between the passion to work with eldery...I realise I do not have the calling for it. Everytime i came to work, the feeling is really like a zombie. Although my colleague says that the eldery like me and i can chat with them,but the feeling is different. I can get along with anybody, I can talk and chat, but I still feel my passion with children. I miss my children.

In any new jobs that i am going to seek now, before leaving this place,it is going to be children-related. I have my try and I know my preferences.

To hang out everyday in a place full of eldery is really not suitable for everyone. Some have the calling for them, others have the calling for children, I bet I am the one.

One more sidenote...Am considering this offer by my friend. She is a very mature and trustworthy friend of mine. She intended to open a cafe and asked me to parthnership with her. Without cash, is just employee first. Her ideas are good and she cooks well and she is capable.

I am at my cross road now...

Should i just continue on my path...or criss cross with hers?

Wondering.....

Work work work...

This job is not as easy as it looks...it involves lot of maturity...as i need to handle conflicts between colleagues and "clients" which are my naughty AUNTIES. In the past, my clients are children. My role is to mould them into responsible, smart and good-natured children with a sense of morality. They are innocent and do not have a mind of their own. It is easier to rule and manage them in these terms. The only difficulty is their playfulness and ignorance. But, they are a bundle of joy. Okay, I am refering to children who are below 3 years old.

Now, I am handling people who are more senior with me.

"I eat salt more than you eat rice!"
This is one common statement to describe their life experiences.

Nevertheless, some lived with people around disliking them but they are not aware of it, or they do not want to admit. They do not know why as they have poor self-reflective skills or they are too stubborn. Some people may be very sensitive to what others say and are not ready to receive comments outright.

I think that I am someone who is emerged in a world full of decent people. My friends, family and loved ones are geuine people. They are full of love. They are, as you say, simple to handle. The reason being that they have a satisfactory level of self confidence.

I am now in sector of human service. To service the human. In another words, to help the weaker ones. Although I may not be as strong as i thought, but my bad encounters (including quarrel with auntie and confrontation by colleague) lead me to conclude that I will be surrounded by people who need help. And they may be sensitive, unreasonable, stubborn, emotional and more. All these reflects an existance of insecurity in them. Instead of opposing them, i should give them more empathy and be able to accept them.

I will try my best not to be defeated by bad experiences and complaints. Being in my "MUST BE" world is making things very difficult for me. Although I am not being appreciated by people, i should take it with just a pinch of salt.

Yo... I am back....Updating abt my life...

Work Wise...I am in the process of getting use to my eldery centre. I get to exercise very frequently now, cause I am learning how to lead the morning exercise for the eldery. Despite it is an exercise with little actions but it did whip out your energy!! Imagine doing exercise and counting the beat out to them..wow!!! It really test your stamina. Today is the third time i lead them and I am getting the hang of it. I am panting lesser. And every two days of a week, there is a line dance session. This makes you sweat as well. Phew~~ Lots of exercise recentlY!!! This is what i call "Healthy Lifestyle""!

Colleagues are friendly and helpful. Managing the eldery can be the external factor that cause a lot of pressure to us. To be nice and not to be taken for granted seems to be a tough job. Residents abuse their rights is common too. Soon-to-be-expiry CNY goodies are given to us by smiling and friendly residents. But isn't CNY over? Well, they would rather us discard it for them i bet. With more than 1 residents doing that, our office is soon full of CNY goodies, and a lot of cockroaches and lizards.

Wedding planning wise...I have a lot to do. last minute work you called it? Well,i will just learn to take things one at a time.
- Print invitation cards
- View Layout of photos (tommorrow)
- Book honeymoon trip
- Choose gown (April)
- Select wine (soon to begin planning)
- Food tasting (April)
- Trial Makeup
- Confirm schedule with photographer
- Guo da Li (1st May)
- Choose pictures for montage
- Choose music

The more i type, the more BUSY i feel. Okay, gonna stop now and get back to work. :)

Good News: I found a job.

Is at hougang ave 3 and it is very near my place. Jobscope is to plan and run activities for the seniors. Post name is Programme Staff. Pay is less than 1600. I am actually confused whether wanted to take it up as the money is too little. But my bank is secretly yelling "help!!" When i asked Nick, he prefers to let me decide instead. He did say i can find a better job but there is an invisible pressure for me too.

His company is retrenching people and he has to work extra hard to show that he is worth to keep. His benefits are affected and this is a great sign of danger. Therefore, i decided to accept this offer and learn what i should learn first. At least for now, i can save up for my own studies.

Bad News: No more honeymoon - at least for now

Darling and his mum has some miscommunication when deciding where to meet when he took her to the hospital for check-up. Mum went to a totally wrong location. Darling panicked and ran all over to look for her. Found her and decided that he will not go overseas anymore as he need to take care of his mum. Unless i can go honeymoon straight after our marriage but that is not the case anymore as i am working and i am on three months probation.

Well,that is life.

Oh my my...Finally get the busy feeling of getting married. Am still in search for a solemiser. Even tikam tikam also needs time. :) We are also deciding on the place to go for our Honeymoon. Initially we wanted New Zealand or Australia but to my disappointment, it is winter. Even if i have more fats on me than before, i still doubt if i can tolerate the chill. So on the safe side, we decided on Hokkaido. Although it is Nick's third time to Japan, he is still delighted to go back there. He loves Japan!! (and maybe the hot chicks there??? Haahhha!!) Oh Well, so we have circle some good tour packages from the brochures that Bee passed me from Natas Fair.
With that, honeymoon location settled. We still need to call and arrange.

Back to my job search,is still JOB SEARCH. Not much of employers responsed despite my enthusiathic sending of resumes. I have further amend my resume to be more Impressive and Passionate. I could see that everyday, someone from the non-profit organisation is leaving their job. All sorts of positions. That led me to wonder if there is a "blow wind blow" situation internally. If there is,my chances of getting a social service job will be slimmer as I am not as experienced.I am a greehorn. I did received calls that asked if i want to be a teacher. Initially, i rejected. Now, i don't mind. Being jobless for months will not stressed me in the past. But it did now. This invisible stress is putting worries and pressure on me. Despite that, i cannot give up my goal!! I must strive on!!

Down to my guest list now. Am starting to send messages to friends, asking if they are able to attend. Some are just gone with the wind, while some enthusiatically called and am surprised that i am getting married.

So what did i do during my afternoonS. Now, i am getting back to drawing and doing some art work. I did upload some of my cartoons on facebook. I will continue to draw more when i am free. Am also doing up the sticky big album that May gave me on one christmas. Am planning to transform it into an album that show my guests my happy moments with my hubby.

- Being patient always paids off well-

The photoshoot on Wednesday went on very well. Makeup is smooth,i did not freak out because the makeup artist is very gentle. I love the hair she did for me too. She brought along some nice hair accessories too. We went on a van with a photographer, his assistant and my makeup artist. my makeup artist did a great job of keeping my hair neat and my makeup pretty along the trip. She even carry an umbrella and kept helping me to block the sun with it. It is really very nice of her.

Meanwhile, the photographer and his asst try very hard to let me and Nick get natural pose. Phyllis thought it will be chicken feet to me but that is totally NOT!!! GOD!!! I think i am too posy and care too much of my image. So in the end, i look fake,unreal and very stiff!! hahahh!!! The asst even commented that I look like a robot!! :P

Wonder how the pictures will turn out to be. I think i look very mature in makeup.


This is my makeup after a whole day of photoshoot.

Am losing soem motivation on job seeking. Am resting now. Gonna Jia You soon!! jia you jia you!!!

Will be meeting my dip in counselling coursemates tommorrow. Hope the outing will be fun. :)

The marriage counselling yesterday rocks!!!

Darling really lets out a lot of information and the counsellor can realise where he is coming from and gave him a lot of understanding and empathy. And from the session, i then realised how important I am to Nick. It made me feel very touched.

The counsellor commented that we are very transparent towards each other and our communication is very good. Just that, we have that missing link to make things work. As i told her, we are poor at conflict resolution. The counsellor kindly provided encourgement and ideas to us. She told us that she can feel the love we have for each other and she can feel how much we want to make things work. She even told us that we will be on very good terms if we can work things out. :)

The counsellor also reminded us that it is about US, and not ME or HIM. I would always bear that in heart.

After this session, i can feel the joy of getting married. FINALLY!!!!!!

Else, it is always about STRESS.

I can finally see the picture and our problem. We are both too selfish. We must learn to give support to one another and not to expect him to support me else he will be very stressed and vice versa. WE are ONE.

Mag went with me to "My Dream wedding" and took this picture illegally. Hee Hee!!!


It is my night gown for photoshoot. It is actually sky blue in color.


My bridal shoe from PAZZION. Love it to bits.


A closer view.


A list of things to get ready for tommorrow.


My manicure that lasted.

Hope things will go well tommorrow! And hope i will not be too tired!!

Bad news.... CCF rejected me... *sob sob*.... There is me,on the way to apply for other jobs! Jia you!!!! :)

Went to Bukit Timah yesterday and darling took leave to accompany me. I know I am a bad influence right? :P But he needs a break from his messy work and thus the last minute pong tang. It was a cooling walk and my third time there. Was introduced to this wonderful route by Bee Lian. Ever since,I try to go once a week. We met at 8am to eat our breakfast and slowly made our way there. After the walk,darling and me went to Courts which is just opposite to take a look at our new bed and bed frame. Went to test on the different mattress. Land our eyes on a white PVC bed frame with a medium firm mattress from "Sleep clinic". We did not get an excellent bed frame and bed as we will be getting a new set of furniture for our new house. After that, we went to have a meal.

By the time we reached home, it is already 4pm. Have a nice shower to get rid of the super sticky feeling and rotted till dinner time. While rotting, we were playing with the two dolls sitting on my bed. I guess only darling has this kind of "kiddish-ness" to blend into mine. That is why we are together.:) Our frequency are really much the same.

Quarrels did let us know each other better and i have learnt that i cannot always looked at some one's flaws. And we should be role models ourselves. Dun expect our partners to be angels when we are demons ourselves.

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Just had a "blood-vomitting" argument with my nephew. He wanted to eat some biscuits and have been eating it before his meals. Being concerned that he will not be able to eat his dinner, i told him that he cannot eat it. He tried to grab it from the table and i stopped him and he just keep bugging me for it and keep wanting to grab it away by force. I realise i really really dislike him. When i see his face which he kept arguing with me, i feel like slapping him. Especially when i am teaching him Mathematics, he would spent time arguing with me about how to do the sums!! Which is obviously wrong!!!! I must always shout at him then he will keep his mouth shut. Every time when i teach him, it will always land into some big quarrel. It is really a challenge to handle him.

When i am handling him, i will always turned into a demon. I knew that i cannot blame him as my brother and brother-in-law are not good role models themselves. They expect their children to be angels when they are not setting a good example themselves.

Because of this, i wanted to work hard with Nick to be good role parents. It is really not easy to discipline the next generation. I will need plenty of tolerance, love and patience. I am learning. Still learning!

Went to videojug (the website which my lecturer who taught us "relationship issues" love to show us videos from this site).

It talks about the 4 types of person u are when you and your parthner are having an argument. Which type are you?


Conflicts & Arguments:
Couples Fighting Styles: The Defensive Attacker




Conflicts & Arguments:
Couples Fighting Styles: The Low Level Attacker




Conflicts & Arguments:
Couples Fighting Styles: The Shock Absorber




Conflicts & Arguments:
Couples Fighting Styles: The Peacemaker



Notice that Nick is more of "The Defensive Attacker" and "Shock Absorber".

Meanwhile for me, i am more of the combination of all types except "The Defensive Attacker".I guess i can only be "The Peacemaker" when my mood is good. :P

I went for an interview yesterday at Children Cancer Foundation. The position i apply for is Program Officer. The main job scope is to organise camps or activities for the children at CCF and to work with the committee members which are formed by volunteers. One of the job scope is to work with volunteers, sponsors and social workers. The job would require me to visit the cancer children at KK hospital once a week to build rapport. Weekends and weeknights might be burnt too but can be claim with timeoff. I was given a mini-test before the interview. Luckily, i participated in Rainbow Camp for two years and my experience there helped me a lot with this interview. The only thing that i did not perform well is my budgeting. :( The person who interview me say she will get back to me by end of next week if i will get this job as there are still a lot of applicants. *Cross my fingers..i wish i can get this job!*

Hopefully, i can get this position. Meanwhile, i will still work hard to source for other jobs. :)

Carole is still the vainpot Carole. Went out with Bee Lian and could not stop buying these two makeup items. Got one pink eyeliner and lash extension mascara from "The makeup store". It really magnifies the eye!!!! Love it to bits!!! ehehehheheh...

p/s: Hmmm, i wonder if Phyllis has tried out her makeup.....

It was a sunday and Nick and me went Bukit Timah Hill for a leisure climbing session. Although so, it sweat me out and i was so tired after the session.


----->> Noticed that age is catching up. Yes, sad to say. When this number "3" strikes, it seems that physically there is a change too. You got to sleep earlier, you cannot be an night owl anymore, it is easier to be FAT, it is easier to be breathless and very tired. Ever since i have my fever virus last year, i can feel i have fatigue for the first time of my life!!! It is a kind of tired feeling when your heart start to pump so fast and you get a breathless as you are so tired and you MUST rest else you will feel very bad and breathless. I get that feeling now and then when i overtire myself. When i am young, i will find difficulty in breathing and i gonna take huge intake of air when i dawn till morning but i do not feel so bad. Now, i really have to take care of my body. Therefore, exercise and ample sleep is more than important now! I get breathless now when i am nervous. God, i sounds like an old lady. I am trying my best to still keep my butt moving even now i am suppose to rest and find a job. I try my best not to take afternoon naps as one will get fatter and also, it disrupt your sleep. I surrender now by the clock strikes one. I will be too tired!!! I got to sleep before one. Is that a bad sign? :(

Search from internet, and found this:

Symptoms of FATIGUE include the following:

- Weakness, lack of energy, tiredness, exhaustion (HAVE!!)
- Passing out or feeling as if you are going to pass out (DON'T HAVE)
- Palpitations (feeling your heart beating) (HAVE!! AND QUITE HARD AND FAST!! NEED TO CALM MYSELF DOWN!!)
- Dizziness (DON'T HAVE)
- Vertigo (DON't HAVE)
- Shortness of breath (HAVE)

Prevention

- Manage your stress: Practice relaxation. Take time out for yourself.
- Get exercise: Start slowly. Do something you like. Find a good time to exercise.Find a partner.
- Check out your medications.
- Improve your diet: Eat a good breakfast (whole grain cereal, fruit, milk). Add more fruits and vegetables.
- Stop the caffeine habit.
- Give up smoking.
- Have sex with your spouse or partner.
- Get enough sleep: Have a routine. Go to bed at the same time every night.
- Avoid coffee, tea, or caffeinated drinks after 6 pm.
- Drink no alcohol after dinner and decrease the total amount of alcohol (alcohol interferes with sleep patterns).

p/s: Do anyone of you thinks you suffer from fatigue tooo????

Our preparation for our wedding shots. This wedding thing is getting me stressed up. New responsibilities and roles. I think this contributes to my fatigue too. I have to remind myself to stay positive as life is full of challenges. I cannot be defeated by them! I have to make the best out of everything i have!!! << --------


Ok, i got to exercise!!!!

Continue my story...went to CHAPTER 2 for Nick's haircut.









There are more layers and sharp edges to his hair. I think is not that obvious but he certainly looked better.

A photo journey of my weight gaining and weight loss in progress...
Through the pictures,i notice my looks changed too...
From younger to more mature...
I seems to have lost a sense of youth and transform to a much more woman look..
This is a good entry to keep....
to remind me never to bounce back to my FATTY period again...
ever again....

Before i met him (Year 2008)











Transformation start after met him....Teh most "Ah soh" moments in my life.













And thunder lightning struck, as i thought i looked good!! So i decided to slim down!!!




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Basically, from THIS



to THIS!!!